Returning to Ourselves: T’shuvah in Nitzavim

Adapted from a dvar Torah originally delivered in Portuguese at CIP (São Paulo) in 2022 titled "Tshuvá por nossa história coletiva"

Here we are, nitzavim, “standing” together, on the threshold of Rosh haShanah. Parashat Nitzavim is threaded with the verb lashuv, “to return”: eight times in ten verses [1] the Torah insists that returning is possible. That drumbeat is not accidental on the Shabbat that so often precedes Rosh haShanah. As we ready ourselves for Days of Awe, the tradition invites a season not of self-flagellation but of honest return towards God, towards one another, and towards the truest version of ourselves.

But what is this journey of return? Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik, the leading figure of Modern Orthodoxy in twentieth-century North America, affectionately known as “The Rav”, described it not as a single act, but as a lifelong process:

“It is a precept whose essence is not in the performance of certain acts or deeds, but rather in a process that at times extends over a whole lifetime, a process that begins with remorse, with a sense of guilt, with man's increasing awareness that there is no purpose to his life, with a feeling of isolation, of being lost and adrift in a vacuum, of spiritual bankruptcy, of frustration and failure—and the road one travels is very long, until the goal of repentance is actually achieved. Repentance is not a function of a single, decisive act, but grows and gains in size slowly and gradually, until the penitent undergoes a complete metamorphosis, and then, after becoming a new person, and only then, does repentance take place.” [2]

T’shuvah is as central to the spiritual work that carries us into haShanah and Yom Kippur as it is grammatically central to our parashah. The repetition of lashuv reminds us that return is not a one-time gesture but a sustained orientation. To help us translate this lifelong process into actionable steps, Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg’s recent book On Repentance and Repair revisits Maimonides’ pathway and applies it to our communal and civic lives. In her words:

“The work of repentance, all the way through, is the work of transformation. It’s the work of facing down false stories and engaging with painful reality. It’s the work of being open to seeing ourselves as we really are, of understanding that other people’s needs and pain are at least as important — if not more so — than our own. It’s about figuring out how to be the kind of person who sees others’ suffering and takes responsibility for any role we might have in causing it. It’s about ownership — owning who we have been and what we have done, and also owning the person that we are capable of becoming.” [3]

Drawing on Maimonides, she outlines five steps. Briefly: 

1. Naming and Owning Harm: specifically, and with empathy for the person hurt; vague “sorry if” statements are not t’shuvah. 
2. Starting to Change: create conditions that make better choices plausible (therapy, learning, spiritual practice, accountability), so you become someone who will act differently.
3. Restitution and Accepting Consequences: repair material, emotional, reputational and time losses as appropriate. 
4. Apology: with humility, centred on the harmed person’s needs and safety, not on easing your guilt. 
5. Making Different Choices: the test of t’shuvah is meeting a similar situation and acting otherwise.

This demanding process reflects a core paradox in Judaism: it is at once exacting and optimistic. It constantly calls us to the hard work of t’shuvah, yet always believes in our capacity to achieve it. In this spirit, Rabbi Ruttenberg quotes Rabbi Nachman of Breslov: “If you believe that you can damage, believe that you can fix. If you believe that you can harm, believe that you can heal.”

May these High Holy Days be a transformative experience for us all, individually and collectively. And may we, in 5786, meet the version of ourselves we have always dreamed of becoming.

Shabbat Shalom and Shannah Tovah!

[1] Deut. 30:1–10
[2] Pinchas Peli, On Repentance: The Thought and Oral Discourses of Rabbi Joseph Dov Soloveitchik, p. 75
[3] Danya Ruttenberg, On Repentance and Repair, p. 52/381 (e-book)